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Yo Mamma's So Fat

1.Yo momma so fat when she wears red she looks like the Kool-Aid Man.

2.Yo momma so fat when she sits around, she sits around.

3.Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light god told yo mamma to
move her fat ass.

4.Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcom X T-Shirt hellicopters try
landing on her.

5.Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

6.Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

7.Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was
backing up.

8.Yo momma so fat were in her right now.

9.Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise.

10.Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

11.Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.

12.Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Portugal claimed
her for the new world

13.Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

14.Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says

15.Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

16.Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

17.Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

18.Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE

19.Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

20.Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

21.Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

22.Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

23.Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

24.Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

25.Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

26.Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

27.Yo momma so fat when she back up she beeps.

28.Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

29.Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

30.Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

31.Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have
to install speed bumps.

32.Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try
to land on her back!

33.Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up
and tries to tow her back into the ocean.

34.Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode
the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

35.Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to
her farts!!!

36.Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay
because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

37.Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time,

38.Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

39.Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

40.Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

41.Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A.,

42.Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

43.Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get to
her good side!

44.Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

45.Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george
washington's nose.

46. Yo momma so fat she broke a limb on the family tree.

47. Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes to New York, to

Yo Mamma So Old

1.Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

2.Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!

3.Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!

4.Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the

5.Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history

6.Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

7.Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!

8.Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

9.Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

10.Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

11.Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

12.Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

13.Yo momma so old when moses parted the Red sea, bitch was on the other
side fishing.

Yo Mamma So Poor

1.Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked
her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

2.Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

3.Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

4.Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's

5.Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

6.Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on

7.Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

8.Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

9.Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said,
"What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

10.Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.

11.Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air

12.Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money

13.Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard.

14.Yo momma is so poor at Christmas she gave you a video of other kids
playing with their toys.

15. Yo momma is so poor she put free samples on layaway.

Yo Mamma's So Stupid

1.Yo momma so stupid that she brought a cup to the movie juice.

2.Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

3.Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

4.Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows
at home.

5.Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she
put "Hooked on Phonics."

6.Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said
"Disneyworld Left" so she went home.

7.Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said
"guess" so she said levi's

8.Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

9.Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted)
sign, she went home and got 16 friends

10.Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

11.Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

12.Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

13.Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

14.Yo mamma so stupid she ran into a parked car.

15.Yo mamma so stupid she sold her car to buy brand new tires.

16.Yo momma is so stupid she thinks she is smart.

17.Yo momma so fat and stupid her waist is bigger than her I.Q.

18. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in the bathroom and peed on

19. Yo momma so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo Mamma's So Ugly

1.Yo momma so ugly her parents had to tie a porkchop around her neck to
get the dog to play with her.

2.Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no

3.Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for

4.Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a
treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

5.Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla

6.Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

7.Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

8.Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

9.Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the
dogs to play with her.

10.Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people
say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

11.Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

12.Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

13.Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that
he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

14.Yo mamma so ugly she could make an onion cry.

15.Yo momma is so ugly that when she looks in to the mirror she says
what an ugly person.

16.Yo momma so ugly when she was born the doctor just slapped her

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